Darker Thoughts

by Hatsu-P

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Ahh!! It's so boring to be alive My only friend's a shadow Of this cruel and shitty reality.. Love and feeling, Hate and killing I can't seem to " fit in " Love and feeling, Hate and killing It's a nonsense.. THERE IS NO SENSE!! Ahh!! What the fuck is wrong with this world?! As I can't find a meaning.. Yet you say " I don't believe in this game " Fucking world won't set me free Will it "kill" or let me be? Why it's painful to be here? In 21st century Only hate, no one's free People fighting for their " needs " call me weak if you wish I'm not getting on my knees The corruption's all you cause Are you waiting for applause?! You expect me to be nice after you destroyed my "Light"?! Show your teeth, I'll show my claws! Don't you say "it's just because.." There's no use for this excuse I still hate you saying "You're free." Am I .. ? Or.. Maybe not ?? I can tell.. It's bullshit.. It's a Fight to determine who's right Ain't following your " guide " as it's full of sharp knives You can only criticize to make yourself feel "glorified" Pointing out my old mistakes to fuel up your EGO TANK!
I cannot sleep, I'm too afraid to see it. I'm sick of this Neverending utopia. So why I feel Like like sleeping, not going back? I think I'll put myself to peaceful sleep. I cannot keep up with my flowing black thoughts. It's hard for me to find the help I'm needing. My life's a lie. I try to Ignore the pain. I guess.. It's time to finally close my eyes. Now I'm sleeping. You won't hear me. Heart's not beating. Do you miss me ? .. Dreams I wanted not distorted. Heart's not beating neither is bleeding. Do you even remember the times we were happy and in love ? I would give everything to get back to the time you were here with me 'Cause I'm in pain and no one understands how it is to be all alone in this world Knowing you won't ever say " I love you "
May I tell you one boy's story? how he felt worthless and lonely " tried my best " is what he thought yet he took a fatal shot. Nothing mattered " back in time " When he's got what he desired. He had friends, a lovely wife " Was I worth it after all .. ? " kept it all within his head. was too scared to go ahead. Phantoms whisper " it's too late " " you're not going anywhere " these are thoughts he had tonight just before he closed his eyes. Still I'm crawling, no one's coming. Losing vision, Have no mission. My heart's failing, no one's waiting. Soon I'm gonna fade away ..
On and.. On and.. Never ending.. I don't think I'll comprehend it.. Oh I try SO HARD. I'm failing. Never gonna be amazing.. Don't know how to find myself. This is endless train till I met my death. Night is really long. WIll you sing my song ? .. No one really cares. These are empty stares. Being lost inside.. Simplified outside.. On and.. On and.. It's never ending.. My emotions are heart-rending. Have reflections, Don't take actions. Why I'm lying to myself .. ? This is endless train till I met my fate. Night is really long. WIll I see the dawn ? No one really cares. These are empty chairs. Being lost inside.. Have no strength to fight. Right ?


Recently I thought of an album representing my darkerest thoughts and ideas so.. there it is! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did while making it ^o^/


released October 6, 2019




Hatsu-P SupraΕ›l, Poland

Just a vocaloid producer who follows good Old Storyline / hidden meaning song flow
:D ~

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